Funny. Forward sent by Ma!!! :D B-) In case you’re getting offended, these are all //jokes//.

– Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
– Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
– Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
– Divorce : Future tense of marriage
– Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
– Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
– Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
– Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power …
– Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
– Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
– Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
– Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
– Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
– Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
– Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
– Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
– Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
– Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
– Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
– Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
– Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
– Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
– Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
– Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
– Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
– Father : A banker provided by nature.
– Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
– Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
– Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
– Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
– Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails…

** DISCLAIMER **: The following text is written purely in humor and with no intentions to offend anyone’s religious sentiments.

In [[http://cerebral-mines.blogspot.com/2004/08/on-existence-of-god-priyendra-deshwal.html| (1)]], the authors present an inductive approach to proving God’s existence. While the argument is well presented, it is fundamentally flawed, as we will argue in this article.

To begin with, their argument starts with the assumption that “God is the master of the Universe”. While this statement itself is subject to some debate, our objection is at the definition of master. If the authors’ definition of “master of the Universe” implies that the master is also the Creator, then this argument inherits the perils of the Cosmological argument because we can always pose the question as to “who created the creator?”

The argument also pre-supposes a humanoid form for God, always referring to it as a “being”, being born and dying, and even the possibility that God might have a mother! The argument clearly begs for a precise definition of the concepts and notions used therein. If God is the supreme being, what does it mean to say that “The mother dies and she was God. In such a case, the new being is the child of God and hence, he can rightfully be called God himself.”. What would the spouse of God be called in that case? Is God unisexual?

Further, in their argument, the authors have also pre-supposed that a child birth involves the appeareance of a single new being in the world. We all know that giving birth to twins is quite common, and there have been cases of triplets and quartets as well. That being the case, the argument does not handle the situations where the Mother gave birth to two or more children. This also implies the “immortality” of God or his “continued presence” via reincarnations — both of which are subject to further criticism and debate.

A sound logical argument should by definition be “pure” and “abstract” and refrain from using such subjective notions. While the authors note that future work in their research includes extending the framework to answer some of the questions raised above (regarding the plurality of God for instance), the original argument itself does not make sense till some of these questions have been answered.

To conclude, [1] might have demonstrated a new approach that could be used to prove/disprove the existence of God. But the argument in [1], as it is, fails to achieve its goals due to the loop holes pointed out above.

** References **

// [1] “On The Existence of God”. Priyendra Deshwal. To appear in the XXXth Annual Cerebral Mines Journal//

Navjot Singh Sidhu has been known for his colorful commentary. Here are some interesting samples:

1. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an oncoming train which will run them over.
2. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
3. When you are dining with a demon, you got to have a long spoon.
4. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
5. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
6. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
7. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
8. Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.
9. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
10. Kenya in South Africa was like a mountain having labour pains.
11. Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!
12. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
13. ‘Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
14. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
15. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
16. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
17. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
18. If the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open.
19. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..one falls and everything else falls!
20. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze.
21. He is as wet as pennies in mud.
22. Even a cock crows over his own Dunghill.
23. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
24. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
25. He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
26. You cannot ride a seat-less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums.
27. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
28. A revolutionary idea is usually one with its sleeves rolled up.
29. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
30. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
31. When you have a hen laying eggs you should not mind the cackle.
32. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
33. Geoffery, one word can describe India’s batting. Only one word – “Absolutely Pathetic”.

You can find some more here