Floating Sun » Humor http://floatingsun.net Mon, 07 Jan 2013 02:53:26 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Blue balls http://floatingsun.net/2009/03/28/blue-balls/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=blue-balls http://floatingsun.net/2009/03/28/blue-balls/#comments Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:36:31 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/?p=934 No related posts. ]]> Most Americans I talk to feel that I was raised here, because I don’t have the “Indian accent”. I don’t know about that, but what I do know is that cultural differences can show up in the least unexpected places. I’m reminded of an incident that happened in my second year in grad school.

Image courtesy flickr.com

We were working on a paper, and my advisor asked me write a section giving an overview of our implementation. In particular, he wanted me to come up with some good visuals to depict what was going on. So I fired up Inkscape and drew a figure. My figure had a few big prominent markers. Now I’m not too creative when it comes to color schemes. In other words, when I think of “color”, I start from Red, Blue and Green (RGB). Not surprisingly then, I drew my markers in red and blue. Prominent and easily distinguishable.

Now, it so happened that my markers were circular in shape. This was primarily because circles are really easy to draw in Inkscape, and one of the first shapes you see on the toolbar, and also because I didn’t pay too much attention to the shape of the markers. Naturally then, in the corresponding text describing the figure, I had the phrases “red balls” and “blue balls” sprinked all over the place.

I happily sent out the first draft to the faculty on the paper. In our next meeting, everyone came in looking very funny and laughing over something and I had no idea what they were laughing about. I felt so left out, like there was some secret joke that I had missed out on. Well, it turns out that “blue balls” has an entirely different connotation that I had never heard of back in India. Now, imagine a formal academic paper on virtualization talking in terms of red and blue balls. No wonder everyone found it so funny.

Lesson of the story: choose your colors, and your shapes, very very carefully :)

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2009/03/28/blue-balls/feed/ 0
Now this is called coverage! http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/09/now-this-is-called-coverage/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=now-this-is-called-coverage http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/09/now-this-is-called-coverage/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2008 05:28:49 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/?p=955 Related posts:
  1. The heat is on
  2. General elections
  3. Independence Day
]]>
Hilarious piece by the Onion News Network. Enjoy!


Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/09/now-this-is-called-coverage/feed/ 0
Shrinking carrots http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/08/shrinking-carrots/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=shrinking-carrots http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/08/shrinking-carrots/#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:37:31 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/?p=951 Related posts:
  1. Breaking of the fellowship
  2. Double talk time on Reliance!
]]>

I got a promotional offer in my mail today from American Express. The highlight? **An extra 1% cash back**!! Clearly an offer I couldn’t resist. I rushed to the sign up page, where I was greeted by the following:

{{http://floatingsun.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/screenshot7.png}}

Pay close attention to the text below the image. First, they make sure I understand that I will continue to earn my usual cash back on //virtually// every dollar I spend. What more, //virtually// for every dollar that I spend (that is, //after// I have already spent $500 that month), I will get a bonus rebate of an extra 1% cash back.

This is //exactly// what we need to fix this country’s financial problems. Go American Express, America is counting on you! Thank you, thank you soooooooo much for this generous offer. You really made my day.

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2008/07/08/shrinking-carrots/feed/ 2
Et tu Simpsons? http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/29/et-tu-simpsons/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=et-tu-simpsons http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/29/et-tu-simpsons/#comments Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:49:30 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/29/et-tu-simpsons Related posts:
  1. Outsourcing
  2. India channel on YouTube
  3. YouTube – microsoft ipod packaging parody
]]>
Not at all entertaining and bordering on pathetically cliched. Simpsons could and should have done better. YouTube – The Simpsons – India Outsourcing – Modified

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/29/et-tu-simpsons/feed/ 0
Another gem from ToI http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/01/another-gem-from-toi/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=another-gem-from-toi http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/01/another-gem-from-toi/#comments Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:36:51 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/01/another-gem-from-toi Related posts:
  1. Not guilty… : HindustanTimes.com
  2. Shashi Tharoor
  3. ToI sucks
]]>
The Times of India continues to amaze me by their acumen for news-worthy stories. Here is their latest gem: Spider bite no excuse for rape, says court-Its a Mad, Mad World-World-The Times of India

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2007/11/01/another-gem-from-toi/feed/ 0
RGVKGMA http://floatingsun.net/2007/09/11/rgvkgma/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rgvkgma http://floatingsun.net/2007/09/11/rgvkgma/#comments Wed, 12 Sep 2007 06:08:48 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/2007/09/11/rgvkgma/ Related posts:
  1. YouTube – microsoft ipod packaging parody
  2. Directory of Indian ads
  3. reCAPTCHA: Stop Spam, Read Books
]]>
If you’re still thinking about seriously watching RGV ki Aag, go ahead and read this brilliant (and need I add hilarious) review by the greatbong: Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2007/09/11/rgvkgma/feed/ 0
The Idiot Box http://floatingsun.net/2007/02/07/the-idiot-box/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-idiot-box http://floatingsun.net/2007/02/07/the-idiot-box/#comments Wed, 07 Feb 2007 23:04:00 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/blog/2007/02/07/790/ Idiot_Box|Idiot Box]] — its not because its like a “dumb terminal”, its because these days a lot of what comes on TV is either dumb, or is making us dumb, or we are already so dumb that we can’t help but watch it. I haven’t really watched [...] ]]>
There’s a reason why TV is called the [[wp>Idiot_Box|Idiot Box]] — its not because its like a “dumb terminal”, its because these days a lot of what comes on TV is either dumb, or is making us dumb, or we are already so dumb that we can’t help but watch it.

I haven’t really watched much TV in the last 10 years or so. There are occassional bursts when I’m at home, or an extended stay at a friend’s place or a hotel and so on. On a day to day basis, my only TV experience usually happens in the gym. I’m always more intrigued by what people choose to watch than what is actually on TV.

This one time, I saw what was being called the [[http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_cc/text/0,2495,FOOD_20077_40801,00.html|Food Challenge]] on … you guessed it, the [[http://www.foodnetwork.com/|Food Network]]. This particular episode focused on Italian chefs. The contest involves things like “Highest pizza dough throw”, “Highest number of shoulder to shoulder pizza dough rolls”, “Largest pizza base” and “eXtreme Pizza”. Infact, IIRC it was actually affliated with the [[http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/|Guinnes Book of World Records]]. Bear in mind that I have full respect for what these Chefs do and their profession. I’m just saying that the intellectual content of that program was abysmal. I was not funny, it was thrilling, it was not educational, it was not insightful. And yet, I could see that people were actually paying money to be at these events, and clearly some people didn’t mind watching it on TV either. Why? What does this kind of content have to offer?

Then just yesterday I chanced upon an episode of this new(?) game show called [[http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/|Deal or No Deal]] — its essentially like gambling showed on TV. Its purely a game of chance, there’s absolute **NO SKILL** required whatsoever (unlike some other game shows). And yet, I saw people actually getting excited as each contestant advanced. The makes of the show have put in all the glamorous elements in the show. There are lots of beautiful women, there are mysterious callers, there’s lots of screaming and yelling, and they build up a lot of these crucial moments where the silence of audience is punctuated by the orchestrated background score. And you know these high tension moments involve? //The opening of a suitcase// — the contestant makes the choice of which suitcase to be opened, and it is then opened. Thats it. One would imagine this should be a fairly simple affair. But no sir, it is accompanied by audience cheering; the contestant is portrayed as if he/she has some inherent qualities that led him/her to make this wonderful decision; the girl who opens the suitcase acts as if she is somehow responsible for the contents of the case. And so on and so on, you get the point.

I couldn’t help but conclude that if these are the kinds of things that are selling and people are watching, then the TV is definitely not the Idiot. We are.

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2007/02/07/the-idiot-box/feed/ 2
Meet the PM http://floatingsun.net/2006/06/15/meet-the-pm/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=meet-the-pm http://floatingsun.net/2006/06/15/meet-the-pm/#comments Thu, 15 Jun 2006 08:28:51 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/blog/2006/06/15/667/ Related posts:
  1. Whats up with PageRank?
  2. Show me the money!!
]]>

Hi, my name is Manmohan Singh. I’m the Prime Minister of India. Not only that, I’m also a doctor. Now isn’t that cool?! You can find a lot more similarly interesting information about me on [[http://pmindia.nic.in/|my website]], for instance, that I [[http://pmindia.nic.in/cv.htm|"have three daughters"]]. Here are some of the highlights of my website:

* As everyone knows, India has demonstrated significant technical competence — infact, superiority — in the IT industry, both in the products and services sector. Needless to say, the websites for the Indian government are of highest quality, and of those, the Prime Minister’s website, //clearly// has to be the best, wouldn’t you agree?
* Since the vast majority of the Indian population is already on the Internet over broadband connections, our website has been designed for a rich experience. The total size of the home page is around **420KB**, and includes around **90 images**.
* We adhere to the strictest web standards possible. However, running the [[http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fpmindia.nic.in|home page through the W3C validator]] will tell you that our home page is **NOT VALID**. What kind of an idiotic response is that? I mean, clearly we do have a home page. How can it not be valid? Seriously, these people call themselves the standards body of the Internet? I think they’re just being bullied by the US (like some [[http://un.org|other international bodies]]).
* We also put a lot of emphasis on accessibility and usability. For uniformity and to avoid confusion, our website doesn’t render at all in text based browsers. We also use some great features such as [[http://www.htmlhelp.com/reference/html40/special/iframe.html|inline frames]], which might not work on some ancient browsers. Hence we also recommend our visitors to use the best-of-the-breed browsers (”Best viewed with IE 5 & above 800×600 resolution”).
* We’ve tried to make navigating the website content extremely easy. For instance, on the home page, the top header contains two menu entries while the left menu contains a whole bunch of items. From there, if you go to the Profile page (top header please), you’ll find some menu entries relocated to the top header, while the rest have been eliminated to avoid confusion. We really want you to spend some time on the profile page, so there’s no link back to “Home” on that page – the only way back is to, you guessed it, hit the back button!
* We love consistency. So you’ll see that on some pages (such as the [[http://pmindia.nic.in/pmo.htm|PMO page]]), we have bullets in the left menu, but no text and nothing to click on. Whats a website without some element of surprise eh?
* We believe in stimulating the minds of our intellectual readers. Therefore we have intentionally left several typos in the [[http://pmindia.nic.in/speeches.htm|transcripts of speeches]].
* Finally, we believe in code reuse. You can see that our [[http://pmindia.nic.in/guestbook.htm|guestbook]] (Note however, that at this time we do not permit the viewing of the guestbook for security reasons) and our [[http://pmindia.nic.in/write.htm|write to the PM form]] look suspiciously familiar. We’re all about high productivity and the [[wp>DRY|DRY philosophy]].

I hope you enjoy our website. Don’t forget to leave a comment (or, write to the guest book). Thanks!

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2006/06/15/meet-the-pm/feed/ 8
Women in Science http://floatingsun.net/2006/03/03/women-in-science/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=women-in-science http://floatingsun.net/2006/03/03/women-in-science/#comments Fri, 03 Mar 2006 08:13:17 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/blog/2006/03/03/596/ Related posts:
  1. Men are from mars and women are just idiots?
  2. UCSD Graduate Student FAQ
  3. Women for Geeks
]]>
Funny essay. WARNING: if you’re a graduate student pursuing a PhD in science/engineering, this might be depressing. Also, the essay isn’t really about women. Women in Science

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2006/03/03/women-in-science/feed/ 0
YouTube – microsoft ipod packaging parody http://floatingsun.net/2006/02/27/youtube-microsoft-ipod-packaging-parody/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=youtube-microsoft-ipod-packaging-parody http://floatingsun.net/2006/02/27/youtube-microsoft-ipod-packaging-parody/#comments Tue, 28 Feb 2006 04:32:27 +0000 Diwaker Gupta http://floatingsun.net/blog/2006/02/27/585/ Related posts:
  1. Microsoft: Open source ‘not reliable or dependable’ | CNET News.com
  2. India channel on YouTube
  3. iPod Shuffle sucks
]]>
This is *the* best video I’ve seen in a long long time. Hilarious! YouTube – microsoft ipod packaging parody

]]>
http://floatingsun.net/2006/02/27/youtube-microsoft-ipod-packaging-parody/feed/ 1