It happens with me everytime I watch a movie like Yuva. It happened with The Legend of Bhagat Singh, it happened with Sarfarosh and so on.
Basically, whenever I see such movies, I have an intense desire to do something crazy (but right) like the protagonists in these movies. Put everything behind the nation kind of stuff. But then I’m also a really selfish guy. Everytime I have such thoughts, I end up thinking about my family, and how they need me, and how I need them.
But thats not the whole story obviously. I’m also slightly cowardish in the sense that I really don’t want to get involve in anything dirty or corrupt, or that which involves beating/bashing up or things more sinister than that. Sometimes I feel India should have a rule like “everyone couple should devote a child to the nation”. Now I know thats a really extremist view, and I myself would be shocked as hell should something remotely like this happen in practice.
But I still think about it. I mean, just consider what would happen — we would have an army of young men and women completely dedicated to the country with nothing to distract them whatsoever. No family, no better halves, no fear, no shame. Just one goal, just one focus — the prosperity of our motherland.
So, here I am, with my dillemma. I love India, I really do. And I really want to do something for my country. Something that people can remember me by. Something great. On the other hand, I don’t want to get into politics, or deal with gangsters and mafia and gudas and other forms of corruption. At the same time, I want to be there for my family and spend enough time with them as well.
Its not really clear to me how all of this can possibly be managed all at once. A good solution, I guess, lies in teaching. Strike at the roots, build the nation bottom up approach. And you can do research as well, maybe with the DORD or something. That would be nice. But then somehow I’ve always been avoiding teaching, I feel its not really my forte. Then there’s also the economic stigma attached with teaching.
Confusion, confusion! Well, I hope one day I can find a good solution to this problem. Even an approximate solution would do I guess :)